The Three Stages of Trump's Tariffs

Some time ago, likely a night at a bar after a few beers, I found myself discussing the difference between a shitshow and a shitstorm. Not quite an Oxford English Dictionary look-up kind of question. But one feels a difference between the two. Add a shit sandwich and the considerations become considerably more colorful. Since then, I developed an understanding of how each phrase works in daily conversation. I will now explai—using the Trump Tariffs.

Shitshow Liberation Day

Trump’s tariff roll out was laughable. Uninhabited islands brutally tariffed, while Russia is not. Clearly no one considered the list beyond how long it was after dropping Putin’s countries. Then, the pretense of a complicated tariff-setting formula when it was only

This project was assembled by clueless nepo staffers working to feed the Trump beast while lacking any skill, talent, or pride of authorship.

Then came Trump’s meandering presentation—that is just par. If Biden was ever this bad, Republicans would scream 25th amendment. Democrats would probably say so as well, but I digress.

So, a shitshow requires incompetent people trying to do something important and then failing miserably. For Trump’s tariffs, we have a horrible idea assembled by idiots and unveiled in a ridiculous manner. Happy Liberation Day!

Shitstorm response

Markets are not happy. Not happy at all. Only the billionaires tipped by Trump to short on Southeast asian rates made money. As soon as Trump held up his eye chart tariff list, every market panicked. A shitstorm is the inevitable and extreme audience reaction to a shitshow. And more storm is coming.

We have South Korea, China and their World War II mortal enemy Japan assembling a joint response to Trump’s tariffs. EU and Canada planning a joint response. Germany just broke the budget to start serious re-arming, historically never a good sign. France is expanding its nuclear deterrence capability. I personally like this piece to show what Trump has wrought—the Maple Curtain is falling

I wrote yesterday that April 2 is a Liberation Day for the World, when countries fully realize how impaired we are and act accordingly. For the United States, the world shitstorm will grow into to a Cat-5 shiticane rising from the Gulf of America the longer this goes on.

Shit sandwich future

While the future is an undiscovered country, we all know the United States is walking towards a Mad Max wasteland. Nothing good will come from this tariff. In the short term, markets will tank and our economy will crash as stagflation ascends. Over time, U.S. global influence will wain. Even if Trump ends this shitshow tomorrow, irreperable harm has been done. No American alive today has experienced such a diminished position for our country in the world. MAGA might be happy being a global parriah, but for the rest of us, the future is the undesirable outcome we will have to eat—a shit sandwich.

Welcome to Trump’s Diner America. Only one item on the menu.